misshapen improvised flatbreads

I didn’t buy bread this week under the assumption that I would budget time wisely for cooking and save money by using some flour I already had. At Monday 1am, dough everywhere, interrupting other ppls godly and restrained ramen making with my sinful and excessive ways, with no homework done, no prospects, yet an all consuming desire to birth a batch of flat carb babies……etc…….etc……anyways Here’s what I did:

My very own Flat Stanleys
  • The oven was already preheated to 375 from another earlier struggle.
  • I started with like 1.5c flour, mixed in 1.5 tsp baking soda (I don’t know how much really, you’ll have to take my word for it), some salt, pepper, rosemary, and the much maligned Señora Dash. Also minced garlic, insofar as anything I “roughly chop until I get tired and bored” can be called minced
  • Added water until it reached a consistency that I was arbitrarily happy with. I think in this process I probably added 1 more cup of flour and an unknown amount of tap water because I kept messing up the consistency (not too sticky that it made a mess, not too dry that it was unpliable….wow, check that vocab…)
  • Oh yeah. Some of the water I used was like…eggy water with spinach bits floating in it from the egg muffins I made earlier. In mine own defense it adds character……it’s all food….
  • Then I rolled out the dough to about 1/4 (or 3/8, again just take my word for it) inches thick on an oiled sheet pan, give or take some lumps and valleys here and dere. Rolled out is inaccurate. To tell you the truth I pressed the dough flat with  someone else’s cutting board that I put flour all over
  • Brushed the top with olive oil and sprinked pepper
  • Cut into 6-8 pieces resembling various quadrigons using an oiled knife and popped in the oven for like 15-20 mins until, so they claim, “golden brown.”
  • Mary Berry might have caled them “rather close textured.” They were kind of hard to chew later on in the week after hibernating in the fridge but obvi in a very charming and DIY way.
  • A note to my haters: the eggy spinach water added a nice pop of green…..In my humble opinion. Aestheticians, judge for yourself below.
my 20 cent goodwill plate makes its stunning debut



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