eggplant and kale lasagna

Here is one of my uglier YET action packed undertakings from three weeks ago (slowly catching up..)

Ingredients: 1 lb ground turkey, a few stalks of limp old celery from the back of the fridge, 1 large onion, a couple cloves of garlic, 1 large eggplant, 2 cans of tomato paste and 1 can of diced tomatoes, 1 tub of cottage cheese, 2 medium eggs, 1 container of no boil lasagna, 1 bag of kale, salt/pepper/dried oregano, probably other random stuff I’m forgetting

  • Before everything else, I sliced my eggplant into rounds (of varying thickness in practice but ideally like… 1/4 inch). Sprinkled with salt and pepper. Then I broiled for 5-6 minutes on each side if my memory serves me right..img_1037
  • Meanwhile, I fried up the diced onion and celery in oil for ~6 minutes on medium heat, adding garlic towards the end. Then I added salt, pepper, and dried oregano and browned the ground turkey.
  • After that I mixed in the two cans of tomato paste and one of diced tomatoes. Since I just had these lying around as extras from other recipes I had to adjust and dilute the meat sauce with some water since it was way too thick. I let the sauce begin bubbling and then reduced to simmer for 20 minutes or so.
  • While the sauce was simmering, I prepared the cottage cheese (not ricotta… u gotta take what you can get…) by mixing in two eggs, salt, pepper, oregano, and some random Mrs Dash seasoning because I cannot for the life of me get rid of it or figure out what it’s supposed to taste like…
  • Finally the fun part… I lined and greased a pan, then added one layer of sauce, one layer of noodles (no boil!), another layer of sauce, a layer of ricotta, a layer of eggplant, a layer of kale…. et cetera….I made probably 2.5 layers total, finishing off with a layer of eggplant with sauce on top.
  • Baked at 350 for 30 minutes or so covered with aluminum foil and 15-20 minutes uncovered but there probably wasn’t a point to that since I didn’t use cheese on top.
  • This was still hard to slice even after I put it in the fridge to let it cool down. I was able to preserve the layers for some slices but most were ugly and fell apart and became “casserole” which is just a nice way of saying U Tried. See below for the remnants of a slice…. and if you want you can picture me sitting on the ground at midnight taking that photo on the right with a glob of meat sauce on the floor… Pathos….

In scientific terms this made 1.5 shitloads of lasagna/lasagna casserole… Being that I consider myself a family of 7 hungry mouths to feed… that’s praxis folks…..

For lunch that week I have no explanation for why or for how the following kooky combination occurred to me (actually I do know. It’s because I’m running out of ideas and don’t want to eat tuna anymore). However… It honestly wasn’t that bad (plus I eat everything I make no matter how bad it is because sis.. that’s called self-respect!!!)…..I don’t even know why I feel like this is so kooky….too much green and white… it’s nonsensical and Seusslike… But I digress.

I think I could con people who buy avocado toast and go to brunch into thinking this is a legitimate sandwich if I just used some better bread, took pictures with a DSLR, and improved my personal brand…… But barring those events this is simply tofu (extra firm…obvi), BBQ sauce, green pepper, and spinach between two slices of #breadt.


Until next time, stay gold Ponypeople…. (my best and corniest sign off yet, God bless…)


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